Tuesday, October 2, 2012

శూన్యం

ఎక్కడని వ్రెతికేది, ఎక్కడని వ్రెతికేది??
అంతులేని విశ్వంలోనా, శూన్యం నిండిన గుండెలోనా!!

ఎలా అని  వ్రెతికేది, ఎలా తిరిగి తెచ్చేది?? 
మాయమైన నవ్వులని, చల్లారిన ఆవేశాన్ని,
అదృశ్యమైన కలలని, ఇంకిపోయిన కన్నీలని !!

ఎలా అని పలికేది, ఎలా అని తెలిపేది,
నా మనోవాక్యాలని, మనోహర కావ్యాలని?? 
మూగబోయిన గొంతుతోనా, సిరా లేని కలంతోనా!!

సరస్వతి, నా ప్రియ సరస్వతి!!
బంజరు అయిన నా హృదయమైదానంపై నవరసవర్షం కురిపించవా,
మోడుబారిన ఈ అక్షరవృక్షంకు కవితా ఫలాలని పండించవా,
ఆత్మలేని ఈ జీవచ్చవాన్ని మరలా నీవు ఆవహించవా ....  


19 comments:

  1. chitti chaala baaaagundi ra kummesav..keep up the gud work...! :)

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  3. Impressive work, Good that you are writing again, the words are simple and have profound emotional appeal.Conciliation of the search for human emotions with the inability to express was done very well.
    On critical note, the last stanza seems to be out of sync or properly not connected, some how i did not comprehend what the emptiness or the void is about "lack of feelings or lack of expression".

    p.s : I'm not a qualified critic, but do hope that my opinion counts.

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    1. @siva
      first of all, ur opinion does count, and thatswhy i have mailed u the link..

      Now, i too realized that there is some sort of dicontinuity in language in the last paragraph, perhaps i need to upgrade it..

      The emptiness is about lack of feelings and hence there is nothing to express.

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  4. This is good. It nicely resonates with a persons inescapable self-awareness. But the poem doesn't preclude the necessity of knowing the author personally. At least for me.

    Pain isn't a bland perceptive. To revel in the mock glory of it is not in any way related to its truth. Don't let reality bleed into your writing. Use it only to cast a shadow.

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    1. @datta

      The poem is not about pain but it is about the "NUMBNESS OF SOUL".

      As usual it will take some time 4 me to COMPLETELY understand ur comment, and when i get it completely i may be in a better position to explain

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  5. Hi Chitti...
    I'm damn happy that you started writing again...
    It is quite refreshing and expressive.
    My personal view is... the last stanza is some what not in lines with the other stanzas...

    On a whole I liked it very much...

    Waiting for many more poems from u...

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    1. @VINEETH

      thanx dudee... I too feel that thelast stanza is not in sync with the rest.. i will try to upgrade it!!

      I feel that my writing spirit is slowly coming back nd i am hoping that it converts into many poems..

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  6. Poem chaala chethaga undhi. asslaa baagoledhu. Only fools write with confidence. People with wisdom write with clarity. Come on take it to a newer level and bring in clarity.
    P.S I dint read the poem.

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    1. @subbu

      Ur comment is not in line with the "LANGUAGE OF POSSIBILITY" . on one side i accept ur criticsm and on the other i request u to refine and upgrade ur comment. :P

      Delete
  7. @sats, rajiv, pavan, srinivas

    Thanx 4 the encouragement guys

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  8. Poem language chala bavundi mama, kani inta baadha enduku?

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  9. super maya loved the second stanza
    connected

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